Principia
Discordia: or, How I Found the Goddess and What I Did to Her When I Found Her –
Malaclypse the Younger, Lord Omar Khayyum Ravenhurst (1965)
HAIL ERIS! May the Golden Apple of Discord fall upon
your enemies’ feet and not yours!
Everyone reading this sentence is hereby ordained as a Discordian
Pope. As a Pope, you are entitled to the
following privileges:
1.
To
invoke infallibility at any time, including retroactively
2.
To
completely rework the structure of the Erisian Church
3.
To
baptize, bury, and marry (with the permission of the deceased in the latter two
cases)
4.
To
excommunicate yourself and others
5.
To
de-excommunicate yourself and others
6.
To
re-excommunicate yourself and others.
7.
To
de-re-excommunicate (no backsies) yourself and others
8.
To
perform all rites and functions deemed to be improper to a Pope of Discordia.
There you have it folks. If that is not enough for you then you are
the problem, fnord.
“In conclusion, there is no
conclusion. Things go on as they always
have, getting weirder all the time” – Robert Anton Wilson
The
above quote is from RAW’s introduction to the Principia Discordia. All Hail Discordia!
I first read this book, this
greatest of all books ever written or conceived, when I was a student at the
University of Houston. It made me think
and laugh, and opened my eyes to the fnords all around us. Re-reading this, I find it even funnier and
more full of wisdom than ever! Hail
Eris! May the sacred Chao not forsake
you from her milky teat.
 |
| The Sacred Chao |
I have always loved the absurd. I love the irrational as well as the
rational. I love it when the twisted
strands of thought form knots of pure intellectual joy! The Principia Discordia is chock full of
these things and more. We are all very
lucky to exist in a world where Eris rules all, and the gods fear her.
As a Discordian Pope, I have started
several failed religions: The Church of Letterman, The Church of the AlmightyMario, The New Atheist Church, and more.
They failed for the same reason all religions eventually fail. They were all based on bullshit. Discordianism, however, is providing you
bullshit based on reality! They have
succeeded where others have failed! Hail
Eris!
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