Nested
Scrolls – Rudy Rucker (2011)
I feel like I just had a long,
thoughtful conversation with one of my favorite authors. Not only was it engrossing and entertaining,
but it made me appreciate the man himself more than ever. Rudy Rucker has long been someone whose books
shape my mind. He easily describes the
most complex of ideas all the while making me crack up. I find him to be one of the few authors, similar
to Mark Twain or Kurt Vonnegut, who makes the reader laugh as much as he makes
them think, sometimes in the same sentence!
This is how my mind works, and reading Rucker’s life story, I can see so
many similarities to myself. Life can be
quite tough for people who choose to explore and think about topics normally
avoided by the public, especially those who create something for others to
absorb, whether it be literature, paintings, or music.
Rudy Rucker begins his tale with a
description of the brain hemorrhage he experienced in the summer of 2008, aged
62, and his brush with mortality. One of the realizations he describes really
hit home, as it is a truth that I have come to understand. Rucker states, “The richest and most interesting parts of my life are the sensations
that come in from the outside.” Our
thoughts and ideas are merely reflections of the beauty and grandeur of the
world around us, if we only take the time to actually look and listen, without
judgement. We all proceed through our
lives as if we are the protagonist in a grandiose and important tale that
matters to all. Our self-importance
seems to dictate the world around us.
However, the truth is that we are but reflectors of the world at large,
and our self-importance blinds us to how fortunate we are to just breathe, eat,
sleep, and love, existing in the amazing and infinite world that surrounds each
of us. This experience drove Rudy Rucker
to write his autobiography, but without any of the self-promotional aspects of such writing.
Reading about Rudy’s childhood and
family was a joy. Rucker’s writing style
is so deceptively casual that his story flows smoothly, and I found myself as engrossed
in his life as if it was one of his works of fiction. Many of his childhood experiences mirror my
own, and many of the questions he asked about the world around him I asked
in my youth. Rudy Rucker
had to wait until he was much older to find people whose curiosity and genius
matched his own. It is a lonely thing to
grow up understanding that most around you either do not ask, or simply do not
care to know, about difficult ideas and concepts. Expanding one’s mind, something that comes ridiculously
easy to most toddlers and children, is beaten out of us by life, society,
parents that do not care, and other such brutalities. It creates a nation of adults who do not seek
to understand, or to explore, but who want safety and certainty above all else. Certainty is
the absolute bane of wisdom. Throughout
Nested Scrolls, Rucker describes the many times he dealt with such inanity,
from school to church to workplaces. A
freethinker will always threaten the status quo. These moments truly resonated with me.
Apart from learning about Rudy
Rucker’s life and experiences, I enjoyed the sections in which he describes his state of mind as he wrote
his various literary works. Writers
write. It is their way of existing. I have always enjoyed reading about the
creative process of the people I admire.
I was reminded that while Rudy Rucker has written some of the most
mind-expanding and hilarious science fiction literature I have ever read, he
also wrote one of the most beautiful books, a historical fiction novel
detailing the life and times of Flemish painter Pieter Bruegel the Elder titled
As Above, So Below. It is a triumph.
One of the themes I found in Nested
Scrolls is that of the “fringe” individual, and how to best exist as one. Rudy Rucker studied and taught mathematics,
but was seen as too weird and “out there” to belong with the
mathematicians. He studied computer
science, but his metaphysical ideas about computing and the mind were too much
for his fellow computer scientists. Rucker
wrote many amazing books, yet was pigeonholed as a science fiction author. Far too many writers demean science fiction
as if it was trash writing, not worthy of the high and mighty term “Literature.” Not only that, many established science
fiction authors isolate and demean writers like Rucker whose work is too transgressive,
funny, or caustic for what they have determined is actual, hard science
fiction. The ego on these people! If only they would see how blind they are,
and that they have chosen to blind themselves with their intellectual
bigotry.
I relate to this aspect of Rudy Rucker’s
life so much. The Art Crowd found me too
intellectual, too into sports, too into science, and too aware of the lies Art
tells itself. The jock crowd found me to
artsy-fartsy, too mocking of the sacred ideas of sport competition, even though
I love sports greatly. The
punk/underground music types found me too square, too “normal,” to truly accept
me as part of that scene. The “norms” found
me too weird and uncaring about bullshit such as cars, money, or the latest
useless status symbol. It has been this
way my whole life, and I feel it is that way for anyone whose mind and
interests go too far beyond one or two self-defining characteristics. The Public wants everyone to be easily
defined, the faster the better, but people like Rucker and myself understand
that the world does not work that way.
In fact, everything is far too complex for such simple-minded labels. Much of Rudy Rucker’s work explores this
idea. As he states, and it is something
I have myself claimed, there is no such thing as a “normal” person. If you bother to scratch just below the
surface, you will find that every single human you have ever met is a deeply
weird individual creation. The worst
thing you could do for yourself is to force your life into the very narrow
definitions that the people around you expect you to be. They are the ignorant ones. They are the ones whose minds are atrophied
and scared of difference.
Often Rudy Rucker describes how much of
a grind it is to promote your work, to seek publishers, and to expand your
readership. Rucker has never had a “best
seller” yet his works sell well and he is always able to publish his
material. His books are too weird for
Hollywood, and none of them have yet been made into a feature film. He taught at various Universities to make a
living, but it took him over 35 years to get tenure. All the while, he shared his life with his
lovely wife and their three children, and as he describes their lives, I can
see how much their love and stability aided him in his dream of writing science
fiction. Perhaps he is the most
fortunate of all, experiencing a full life, while living out his childhood
dreams. Too many people consider you a
failure if you do not become “the BEST,” or “the RICHEST,” or “the MOST FAMOUS!” These are all meaningless labels. Rudy Rucker grew up, married, started a
family, taught countless students, created dozens of original works of
literature, shared his ideas with readers worldwide, and even took up oil
painting at a late age! He is a success
by any true measure, and I am so glad to have read his autobiography. Rudy Rucker may not know me, but I count him
as my lifelong friend. Thanks for
sharing the Gnarl, Rudy!
(This book may be read here: https://www.rudyrucker.com/nestedscrolls/ )
